CHANGES

For as far back as i could remember SHE was always around us but i never knew why.

My sister and i were shut out from what was going on with my dad, i cant remember how or when this happened. When HER and my dad got together i do remember going to my uncles house where SHE lived, and watching out a small window watching him packing his bags, then throwing them into his car yelling and screaming out at HER words words and lots more,then smashing up the house before he left. I remember HER asking me whether i wanted another baby brother or sister. And how SHE would ask if we wanted a new mummy. Those days are all mixed up and blurred together but from then on we were back an forward from HER house to ours, things happened so fast and so soon after losing my mum

After school surprise

I remember coming home from school one day walking into our house and they were their packing up my mothers house up. HER and HER DAUGHTER were in our house touching our things, Looking through my things! throwing out whatever they didn't want in their house. That was the day i lost alot of my mums things alot of my childhood memories.

When we first moved into HER house things were alot different from what i was use to, we had to ask for a drink and use certain cups we were not allowed to touch HER glasses. We weren't allowed to eat when we got hungry we had to wait till we were told we could eat. I missed my mum so much i just wanted to go back home, my sister and i were forced to share a bedroom and a bed, we never had much just a bed, draws with a few clothes nothing of our mums.I felt so alone like their was no one their for me my daddy was off doing his own thing with his new family we were just in his way. We never got along with HER or HER DAUGHTER so he had us sent away to a health camp for months because my sister had yelled at HER "YOUR NOT MY MUM". So the health camp became my second home from when i was 7 right up till i was 9, My first night their i was scared, i had never been away from home without my dad, i just cried and cried all i wanted was my daddy to come back and get me "I'm sorry I'll be good, please daddy". I write him a letter can you please come visit me i miss you but no reply and no visit from him. In the end i loved it there, i finally had adults their that wanted to give me attention take me out ,we did awesome things from hiking to arts, crafts, cooking, camping, spot lighting, bmx riding and then to tucking me in bed and reading us bedtime stories. I still had to go to school and i loved going to school it was alot of fun i learnt heaps made heaps of new friends the teachers were so friendly that every year i went back they were happy to see me Ha ha ha the health camp was the place i first got a boyfriend, i remember the boys and girl dorms were watching a movie in the dark in the big games and family room. My friends were saying hold hands so we did the good times, oh the disco they would put on for the whole camp were so much fun just running around dancing holding hands again. Our dorm leader would take us to the costume room where we would pick out what we wanted to wear to the disco, i really loved going their because for a brief moment i forgotten i had lost my mum.

BUT REALITY HIT HARD WHEN IT WAS TIME TO GO  HOME

Them fighting

I hated it when they would fight because we were always caught up in the middle of it all, no matter how late it was my dad would wake us up and make us walk back to my mums house every time it got bad between them.

I remember one day they had got into a big fight my dad had got so mad he had told me "Were going" then walking back to my mums house, i cant remember where my sister was i only remember it been me she may have been at camp. But i do remember been at home and my dad just went straight to bed he slept for hours while i just sat there watching him as he slept, then night time came it was so dark and scary i was so scared of every noise. I went into the bedroom by him and just sat there on the floor playing and waiting for him to wake up. But i had got tired so i made myself a bed on the floor out of blankets. I was woken up by my dad but he was so mad i don't know if he was mad with me or with himself .

He looked at me and said "let's go back"